


Do you call my name?

by bloody_roses



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen - Fandom
Genre: Abortion, Alcohol, Angst, Divorce, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Infidelity, Semi-Public Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-09 19:37:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17412995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloody_roses/pseuds/bloody_roses
Summary: This is loosely based off of Letter to Hermione by David Bowie. You moved to London for a student exchange program in college. Met Roger there and ended up dating for 4 years only to break up once you moved back to the states for a publishing deal on your book. Now, 5 years later, you are married, work as a studio drummer (roger gave you a few lessons and you were actually quite good at it, started taking professional lessons and so it went), also are an author with one successful book, own a house in a boring neighborhood with your husband, and overall have a very steady life, and yet you are still deeply in love with Roger. When Queen comes to America for their tour, you and him meet again unexpectedly. It causes havoc in both your hearts and lives.





	1. We haven't talked in awhile

You just got done with another day at the studio recording some track for some singer with absolutely no talent, your arms were sore from playing so many reps because the singer just couldn’t seem to get through a song once and constantly had re record every track they sang. As a hired studio drummer you had to deal with any ass that had enough money to hire you through the record label. It paid well and was better than a simple 9-5 job, but some days it is terribly frustrating. You turn down the road to your house and come out of your thoughts, starting to pay attention to the song thats on the radio and it sounds really good, not like most songs on the radio.

_She’s a killer queen,_ _gunpowder gelatin,_ _dynamite with a laser beam_ _Guaranteed to blow your mind_

You swear the voice sounds like someone familiar but you just can’t place it. Then the song ends and the radio hosts announces “That was Killer Queen everybody by up and coming artists Queen” Now you know what it sounds familiar. You hadn’t really heard any of their music since you came back to America, it being too painful to ever really enjoy. But now, things were different, you were different, and you wanted to hear their new album. After all, you were there for the beginning you should at least try to take an interest in them. You drive past your house and to the nearest record shop, buying their album Sheer Heart Attack. Once home you put it on and start folding a load of laundry, on your bedroom floor. Examining the cover of the album a little bit, you realized that each one of them looks so different than when you first met them, however roger still remained just as attractive as when you were together. In fact the position he is in on the album cover reminds you of a moment you shared with him. It was just after you guys had got done having drunken sex on a bedroom floor during a party, you climbed up onto the bed which was abnormally high and looked down at him attempting to light a cigarette. And He looked up at you, sweaty, shirt unbuttoned eyes filled with ecstasy. As your mind began to wander with how you got to that point you remembered the events before hand, his hands grabbing your waist and pulling you onto him, his whispers of praise and commands, his lips ghosting across your neck.

_You and Rog ran up to an empty bedroom in Freddie’s house like two teenagers in love, stumbling into the room Roger pushes you up against the door slamming it closed causing you to gasp and him using your surprise to grab your wrists and pin them behind you._

_“Don’t you ever tease me like that again in public, I saw what you were doing out there. Bending over just at the right times, spreading your legs when you knew only I could see.” he practically growled against your skin_

_“What can I say? I love seeing you flustered.”_

_“Trust me,I’m not gonna be the one who looks flustered in a few minutes.”_

_“Hmm, is that a challenge?”_

_“You wish love”_

_He then inched his hand up your skirt and kissed you softly, licking the bottom of your lip and rubbing soft circles on your upper thigh. You grab his hair and kiss him sloppily, lightly pulling at his hair every time his fingers move farther up your thigh. He moves his hand up and pushes your underwear out of the way lightly rubbing your clit. At that same moment he bites your bottom lip and this causes you to let out a slight moan._

_“Want more love?” he whispers against your ear sending shivers down your spine._

Now leaning against your dresses you pull out the small vibrator in your nightstand and use it to the image of Roger behind your eyelids. Soft moans escaping your lips as you bring yourself to your high. Right before you let yourself release your husband, Nathan Jones, walked into the front door and slamming it loudly.

Jumping out of your skin you shove your vibrator back into your night stand and quickly go back to folding clothes. Almost afraid that he would be able to see the moments you had just been picturing on your face. Which was preposterous because you had never told him about Roger, you told him about everything else, that you guys were best friends, how you had a life in London, and how you had close friends, but you never told him about Roger or Queen. Almost as if if you didn’t talk about it, You could erase it from your memory too.

\---------

You and your husband were sat at dinner with Rachel and Joe, your best friend and her husband. Despite Rachel being the closest you have to a friend at the moment, she knew nothing about you, nothing about who you were, and nothing about anything you truly care about. Everyone was heavily involved in their small talk, but all you could think about was how you could be using this time to work on the sequel to your book. The first one sold so well that you signed a contract with your publisher for a sequel. However the story isn’t connecting together the way you had envisioned and you were stuck trying to figure out how to fix the plot. Becoming completely lost in your book you didn’t hear your best friend Rachel mention how she and her boyfriend were going to a Queen concert tomorrow. Snapping you out of your daydream your husband says

“Earth to (y/n)”.

“What? Sorry I’m just- exhausted.”

“Well if you had been paying attention, you would be able to answer the question Rachel asked you.” You were taken aback by his aggressive tone.

“Sorry, Rachel. What were you asking?” you said through gritted teeth trying to keep from snapping at your husband.

“Oh just that there was this band I really like coming to town, Queen, I bought tickets for me and Joe but he has business meeting that night and I was wondering if you’d like to come.” she hadn’t caught on to the dynamic between me and Nathan. Speaking with ease as if a man constantly bickering and snapping at his wife was supposed to be normal. However that’s not what had my mind in knots no, it was the pretense that after 5 years I could be in the same room as Roger Taylor. It was the notion that even after 5 years and a husband that boy had my heart in my throat and my contents of my stomach threatening to spill out of my mouth.

“No, I’m sorry I can’t that night. I have a work thing” my voice staying calm but I know my face did not look it.

“Really because I haven’t even told you the date yet? Come on (y/n) you never do anything fun, it’s just one night and the ticket is already paid for.” her words seemed distant and you were trying to bring your head back down from the dangerous place it had gone. Thoughts were buzzing through your head and for a split second You were no longer you, but the girl you 6 years ago looking at who you are now as if through a looking glass. Tears sprang to her eyes as she watched her older self sit at a table with a woman who did not know her and a man she did not love. In a dress she hated but knew it would allow her to feel normal and comfortable among the people she was with. She felt the urge that she had always felt when she was younger, to run. To take everything she had and run. Then it was over and you were who you are now again, but the anxiety had not gone away.

“Sorry my stomachs not feeling well I need to go to the bathroom”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Rachel was a good friend, but she could never help you through what you were working through at the moment.

“Oh no, stay and enjoy your dinner I’ll be fine.”

You made your way back to the restroom trying to regain your steadiness, your comfort, your sensibilities. However that’s when you heard it, a voice you hadn’t heard in years but could pinpoint out of an entire crowd.

“(Y/N)?” He spoke your name like he had been waiting to say it, like it had been built up behind all of his other words and finally got a chance to come out. You turned around in absolute shock that the blonde haired, blue eyed man that You never thought you would see again, was now standing in front of you. You said his name and it felt like every other time you had said his name was mixed into this one, the first time he introduced himself to you, the time you found him flirting with another woman, the time he gave you the best orgasm of your life, the time you showed up at his house at 3 am completely plastered and sobbing for no reason other than that you had lost his favorite shirt when you went to Germany for a week, the last goodbye you said to him at the airport on London.

“Roger?” his eyes looked like they had the first time we met, hopeful, expecting, afraid. Until he looked down at your left hand and saw the wedding wing perched on your finger. His face fell and he looked at you.

“It’s been awhile since we’ve talked cactus.” you were taken aback by his use of the nickname he gave you. You never told anyone about it when I moved back to the states, mainly because it would only remind you of him. After about a month or two of your friendship you two were watching a movie in his apartment and he turned to you and said You know, you remind me of a cactus. You’re so cold, prickly, and very much an asshole on the surface. But I just after having seen you cry over a dog in a children’s movie I now know the truth. You are nothing but a gooey little mushy ball of feelings inside all that false roughness.” Since that moment on he called you Cactus. The memory makes your heart clench inside your chest. Just in that moment, between his words and your words intervened Rachel who had came back to check on you in the bathroom. Low and behold you never made it.

“Oh my God, you’re Roger Taylor!” she said excitedly then took a second to asses the moment that the two of you looked held in and she asked “Do you two know each other?” you wanted to tell her yes, that he was the only person who knew you and that as far as you knew you were the only person who knew him. But instead you said

“Not really, used to hang out at the bar he used to play gigs at.” he caught on to your lie

“Yeah, me and (y/n) just used to be drinking buddies.” he chuckled softly, almost not enough to hear but you did.

“You never told me that (y/n)! And you wanted to skip out on the concert with me tomorrow night.” Roger tha en had the audacity to say

“Well if you can’t make it to the concert maybe you guys would like to come to a little party we’re having tonight.” before you have the time to shoot the idea down with a shotgun, Rachel says

“We’d love to. But we have dates with us, can they come to?”

Roger looks at you with a sly smile, one he used to give you while you were in the crowd at concerts, right before the band left the stage and he knew that you and him would hook up in the boys dressing room afterward.

“Of course they can come, I’d love to meet the new people in (y/n)’s life.” He then gave Rachel an address and time while you were stood dumbfounded by the hand that life had just dealt you.

“We’ll see you there. It was great meeting you Roger.”

“You as well”

You didn’t say anything. You both went back to your table, Rachel describing everything that had just happened, and you staring off into space still picture Roger’s face in you head. As your husband placed his hand on yours.


	2. Bathroom Troubles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After an uncomfortable argument with your husband you find yourself drinking and laughing with the members of Queen, feeling at home for the first time in years.

After dinner you and Nathan went back to the house, waiting for Rachel and Joe to come pick both of you up to go to the party. As you search through the back of your closet trying to find clothes that would fit the outrageousness of a Queen party. You stumbled upon a box labeled “don’t hang up” opening it you find some of your mini skirts and a few dresses a lower cut than you ever thought you wore. At the bottom of the box however was a very dark red velvet dress that has long arms that sprout out at the ends of the arms. You squeeze into it just barley, surprised that it still fits and turn around to see yourself in the mirror. The dress has a very low cut and is even shorter in length, leaving nearly nothing to the imagination. Your breath catches as you remember the last time you wore this dress, it was to one of Queen’s press release parties. You were sitting in Roger’s lap making jokes about the state of the party and the people, and how the angry looks from the groupies was so familiar it was almost comforting. Snapping out of the memory you go to your bathroom sink and pull your messy (y/h/c) hair down from its tightly woven bun and throw on a little bit of eyeliner, just as you find yourself presentable your husband comes upstairs to tell you that Rachel and Joe are here, however he never gets to that part once he sees what you are wearing

“Hey (y/n), Rachel and- What are you wearing?” he asks in discomfort

“A dress?”

“Don’t think thats long enough to be considered a dress.”

“Well I thought, of all people, you would like it.”

“Well I don’t. I’m not about to go to party with my wife dressed like a-” just before he could say that last dreadful word, Rachel came upstairs asking if everyone was ready. 

“Yes we are.”you say as your husband shoots you a death glare but left the argument where it lie.

Everyone then piled into Nathan’s car as he had already offered to be designated driver, as you all sat in the car Rachel just kept talking about how she had never been to a Rockstar's party and how you should’ve have told her that you knew Queen.

Once you got to the party, everyone in your little group stood out as they walked through door. Being surrounded by crazed fans, wild people, and wanna be rockstars, the only person out of the four of you who didn’t stand out was you. 

“Do you guys wanna go get a drink?” Rachel asked everyone excitedly. But you payed no attention to her with the thought of getting to your long lost friends of Queen you quickly started searching the crowd, as you walked all three of them followed you like puppies to their new owner. Turning around and saying 

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom, you all should go get drinks and meet me back here. That okay?” you didn’t wait for conformation just quickly broke away from them hearing your husband grumble something angrily behind you. Just as you were trying to escape their gaze by turning down the nearest hallway you bumped harshly into a unknown very tall figuring, getting a face full of curly hair. It only took you a split second to figure out who it was

“Oh shit, I’m sor- Brian! Oh my god! It’s been so long.” his face lights up when he realizes its you, but then is followed by confusion 

“(y/n), we’ve all missed you so much! But um- what brings you here? its been years since any of us have seen you.”

“I was at dinner with a few friends and when I went to the bathroom I ran into Roger, my friend Rachel came looking for me and after her having a little fangirl moment over Roger he invited us. Guess he couldn’t resist a chance to charm another girl” I say this laughing but in truth I was a little afraid those were his motivations. 

“Well he didn’t tell any of us he invited you, Freddie will be ecstatic to see you! Here come on, we’re all hanging out over this way.” He put a hand on your back trying to guide you through the maze of people and just as you entered a room with a crowded with couches, chairs, and a table filled with an assortment of alcohol you saw John sitting next to Freddie on the coach; both of them giggling. The sight brought warmth to your heart, you truly did miss them over the years. Then you turn a see Roger with some floozy under his arm, whispering in his ear.For a second you were afraid none of them would acknowledge you, like they had all completely moved on and forgotten you. Then Freddie saw you and exclaimed 

“(Y/N)! Darling, jesus it’s been forever.” he then ran over to you and gave you a hug saying 

“Oh dear I love the dress, I remember when I helped you pick that out, still look just as gorgeous.”

“Aw Freddie thank you! And you look just a gorgeous as the last time I saw you, except for one thing. What did you do to your hair?” noticing his now short hair and frumpy mustache. 

“Sharks have to keep moving my dear. Now are you going to stand there or are you going to party?” he then hands you a glass of champagne and leads you over to John and Roger. John stands up to hug you

“Oh wow, I’ve missed you. Band hasn’t been the same since you came back to the states.”

“Well my life hasn’t been the same since I lost touch with you guys.” 

You sit down in a chair next to John and Freddie, completely unaware that Roger had stopped paying attention to the poor girl trying to kiss her way back into his head. Instead he just stares at you, at the restaurant you had looked so different, a dress blouse and a long black skirt and hair in bun. It was like seeing a stranger when compared to the girl he fell in love, but seeing your hair fall in your face when you lean down, your smile so wide, your dress ride up when you move legs a certain way. It was like he was being thrown back in time and then you looked at him and your (y/e/c) eyes brought something out of him he hadn’t felt in front of a woman in years. Vulnerability. 

He stood up and walked over to you, completely abandoning the girl hanging off of him. He sat down in the chair next to you and said 

“Well I honestly didn’t think you would except my invitation, figured you grew out of this what with your new…” he paused and looked down at the ring on your finger 

“…lifestyle and all.” You looked at him, trying to see if he was poking fun or not. 

“Well I guess you would be confused about the confines of monogamy, but turns out only being with one person does not keep me from leaving the house.” he laughs and seeing his face light up makes your heart swell in your chest. However thats when his arm candy comes over and gets one top of him, almost uncomfortably straddling him and immediately shoves her lips against him. The encounter is unnatural and almost makes you sick to your stomach. A reminder of the barrier that is now and always will be between you and Roger. 

Not desiring to sit next to the wet sounds coming from the two in the chair you get up and walk over to Freddie who was now pouring vodka into a glass, at first you thought he was just making himself a drink but when you walk up to him he shoves the glass your way.

“Don’t act like you don’t need it love.” 

“Oh Freddie, you know me so well.” 

“I just know two yearning hearts when I see them.” you put the glass to my lips and throw my head back downing the clear liquid. 

“I’m not yearning for anything, other than a good buzz.” 

“Oh for sure darling” you turn to the table filled with various glass bottles, picking up the same vodka he had just poured you and filled the glass about two shots full. Downing that glass and grimacing at the horribly bitter taste you slam the glass down. Meanwhile Freddie is just laughing at you

“Come on lets go join the party.” You and him walk over to the three other Queen members as well as a group of people surrounding the band. As the night goes on you forget about the three people who you came here with, after more drinks and dancing to every song you can feel the effects that the alcohol is having on your stomach. Stumbling out of the room, trying to keep the walls from spinning while in search of a bathroom, you don’t notice the blonde drummer following behind you. You search hurriedly for the bathroom only to feel a hand grab your wrist, turning around to find none other than Roger Taylor holding onto you. That’s when a sense of relief flushes your body as he leans down and says

“Here follow me, theres a bathroom this way.” you just nod and hold onto his arm, pulling you towards a pair of stairs only a few feet to your left. Finding this new task to be the most difficult task you’ve ever been faced with you say

“Rogerrrr, I’m sorry I- I don’t think I can make it up.”

“Come on I know you can, do you really wanna throw up all over this floor.”

“I don’ know if I have a choice.” you feel the puke coming up your mouth and cover your mouth with your hand. Roger, seeing the urgency of this situation, scoops you up and starts carrying you up the stairs, then he pushes open the nearest door and right as you see the toilet you can no longer hold in and puke goes hurling all over Roger’s shirt. 

He flinches immediately, but walks over to the bathtub and sets you down gently. 

“Oh Roger- shit. I’m so sorry, fuck. I’ll clean your shirt.” you tried to stand but then stumbled and fell back into the bathtub. He walks over to you squats down

“I can clean my own shirt, okay? Don’t feel bad about this, I’ve thrown up on your clothes a hundred times.” he chuckles at the memory of ruining yoour favorite dress after a particularly hard show. 

You wanted to say okay and for him to stand up and put his shirt under hot water and help you find Nathan so he can take you home. But instead you look at him, his face so close to yours, his eyes bright blue, his hair messy hanging in his eyes, the stench of alcohol coming from his breath. You look him in the eyes and say 

“I forgot how much I liked looking at you.” his eyes flash with wistfulness and he small smile spreads across his face 

“I forgot how much I like looking at you too.” you run your hands through his hair and move down to his cheek. His hands meets yours and he turns his head slightly, placing a kiss on your palm. You then pull your hand away and lean your head against the wall of the bathtub.

“How did we get here Roger?” its a loaded question, one that brings up countless memories

“I believe it was your inability to ever know when to stop drinking.” You laugh quietly and he stands up, pulling the shirt over his head and putting it under the faucet. You stare at his bare chest and remember a time when it was the most familiar feeling your hands knew. Now you can barley remember the ghost of it, willing your finger tips to replenish this memory. You stand up shakily, stepping over the tub and walking over to him. You wrap your hands around his hips as he scrubs the puke shirt. You both look at the each other through the mirror and tears spring to your eyes. He turns around to face you and you collapse into him, he wraps his arms around you and whispers. 

“I feel it too.” 

You look up at him, tears falling down your face and you see that he is close to crying. You can feel your throat close up and your chest tightens, both of you carrying the weight of lost time and love. Just as you lay your head back on his chest and a sob dares escape your throat the door burst open and a very surprised Nathan pushes his way in. You watch as his brain asses the situation and his eyes fill with anger. But he didn’t yell, he barley reacted. All he said was 

“Find a way home.” and then slammed the door behind him. You try to chase after him, pushing the bathroom door open and watching him walk down the stairs. You run after him, barley making it down the stairs. 

“Nathan, wait!” but he doesn’t turn around, he just keeps pushing his way through the crowd. You collapse in the crowd feeling sobs rake your body and a hand place itself on your back. You turn around to find Mary whom you hadn’t even thought would be at this party, she pulls you up off the floor 

“Come on, I have a hotel room near here.”

Taking a cab to the hotel and trying your hardest to keep quiet n the backseat of the Taxi, Mary softly rubbing your back. You both ride silently in the elevator up to her floor and as you crash on the bed you say the first words you have said to her in years. 

“Thank you.” those were the last words you said right before you passed out on top of the covers on her hotel room bed.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really excited for this story and I already have the first few chapters written. Next chapter will be up in two days!


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